What is black metal?

September 21, 2005

There are as many definitions as there are demons in Satan’s subterranean condo. And like those hot-and-bothered helldwellers, Black Metal afficionados are a contentious lot — sometimes even murdering one other over who is and isn’t true to the genre.

Wikipedia offers this definition, while this e-mail argument between two self-described Dark Lords provides another.

Musical characteristics include superfast guitars and shrieky, bummed-out vocals. Fashion characteristics include spiky shin guards, medieval accessories (swords, chains), and generous use of corpse paint.

But as the comparative graphic above shows, identification can be tricky. At left, Dani from the band Cradle of Filth is wearing lots of corpse paint. He is Totally Black Metal. At right, Louie the pug is not one bit Black Metal, despite facial markings that strongly resemble corpse paint.

This is tough, I know. Let’s try it again.

At left, the Totally Black Metal band Dimmu Borgir, including a bald guy in a hat. At right, Louie again. Yes, he is wearing a hat, but he is still Not Black Metal. When they wake up in the morning, Dimmu Borgir raise lead chalices to their lips and drink smoothies blended from the blood and brains of their vanquished enemies. When he wakes up in the morning, Louie the pug eats either lamb-and-rice Science Diet or a sock.

For further study, I direct you to this Link for the TOP 10 MOST RIDICULOUS BLACK METAL PICS OF ALL TIME.

Thanks BoingBoing


The Problem With Music

September 19, 2005

Although written years ago, this article by Steve Albini describes the way record labels screw the bands that sign with them. It’s a great primer for anyone trying to “Make It” in the music biz.

Read it here


Bush: “I take responsibility”

September 13, 2005

“Katrina exposed serious problems in our response capability at all levels of government, and to the extent that the federal government didn’t fully do it’s job right, I take responsibility,” Bush said. “I want to know what went right and what went wrong.”

So do I GW, So do I.


Fourth Anniversary of 9/11

September 11, 2005

To All My Fellow Americans Who Voted for George W. Bush:

On this, the fourth anniversary of 9/11, I’m just curious, how does it feel?

How does it feel to know that the man you elected to lead us after we were attacked went ahead and put a guy in charge of FEMA whose main qualification was that he ran horse shows?

That’s right. Horse shows.

I really want to know — and I ask you this in all sincerity and with all due respect — how do you feel about the utter contempt Mr. Bush has shown for your safety? C’mon, give me just a moment of honesty. Don’t start ranting on about how this disaster in New Orleans was the fault of one of the poorest cities in America. Put aside your hatred of Democrats and liberals and anyone with the last name of Clinton. Just look me in the eye and tell me our President did the right thing after 9/11 by naming a horse show runner as the top man to protect us in case of an emergency or catastrophe.

I want you to put aside your self-affixed label of Republican/conservative/born-again/capitalist/ditto-head/right-winger and just talk to me as an American, on the common ground we both call America.

Are we safer now than before 9/11? When you learn that behind the horse show runner, the #2 and #3 men in charge of emergency preparedness have zero experience in emergency preparedness, do you think we are safer?

When you look at Michael Chertoff, the head of Homeland Security, a man with little experience in national security, do you feel secure?

When men who never served in the military and have never seen young men die in battle send our young people off to war, do you think they know how to conduct a war? Do they know what it means to have your legs blown off for a threat that was never there?

Do you really believe that turning over important government services to private corporations has resulted in better services for the people?

Why do you hate our federal government so much? You have voted for politicians for the past 25 years whose main goal has been to de-fund the federal government. Do you think that cutting federal programs like FEMA and the Army Corps of Engineers has been good or bad for America? GOOD OR BAD?

With the nation’s debt at an all-time high, do you think tax cuts for the rich are still a good idea? Will you give yours back so hundreds of thousands of homeless in New Orleans can have a home?

Do you believe in Jesus? Really? Didn’t he say that we would be judged by how we treat the least among us? Hurricane Katrina came in and blew off the facade that we were a nation with liberty and justice for all. The wind howled and the water rose and what was revealed was that the poor in America shall be left to suffer and die while the President of the United States fiddles and tells them to eat cake.

That’s not a joke. The day the hurricane hit and the levees broke, Mr. Bush, John McCain and their rich pals were stuffing themselves with cake. A full day after the levees broke (the same levees whose repair funding he had cut), Mr. Bush was playing a guitar some country singer gave him. All this while New Orleans sank under water.

It would take ANOTHER day before the President would do a flyover in his jumbo jet, peeking out the widow at the misery 2500 feet below him as he flew back to his second home in DC. It would then be TWO MORE DAYS before a trickle of federal aid and troops would arrive. This was no seven minutes in a sitting trance while children read “My Pet Goat” to him. This was FOUR DAYS of doing nothing other than saying “Brownie (FEMA director Michael Brown), you’re doing a heck of a job!”

My Republican friends, does it bother you that we are the laughing stock of the world?

And on this sacred day of remembrance, do you think we honor or shame those who died on 9/11/01? If we learned nothing and find ourselves today every bit as vulnerable and unprepared as we were on that bright sunny morning, then did the 3,000 die in vain?

Our vulnerability is not just about dealing with terrorists or natural disasters. We are vulnerable and unsafe because we allow one in eight Americans to live in horrible poverty. We accept an education system where one in six children never graduate and most of those who do can’t string a coherent sentence together. The middle class can’t pay the mortgage or the hospital bills and 45 million have no health coverage whatsoever.

Are we safe? Do you really feel safe? You can only move so far out and build so many gated communities before the fruit of what you’ve sown will be crashing through your walls and demanding retribution. Do you really want to wait until that happens? Or is it your hope that if they are left alone long enough to soil themselves and shoot themselves and drown in the filth that fills the street that maybe the problem will somehow go away?

I know you know better. You gave the country and the world a man who wasn’t up for the job and all he does is hire people who aren’t up for the job. You did this to us, to the world, to the people of New Orleans. Please fix it. Bush is yours. And you know, for our peace and safety and security, this has to be fixed. What do you propose?

I have an idea, and it isn’t a horse show.

Yours,
Michael Moore


Funny Quote

September 7, 2005

“Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs”


Not My Bushs Mom!

September 6, 2005

Barbara Bush insults Katrina survivors. Said today while visiting relief efforts at the Houston Astrodome: “Almost everyone I’ve talked to said we’re going to move to Houston. What I’m hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. (Said with concern.) Everybody is so overwhelmed by all the hospitality. And so many of the peoples in the arena here, you know, they’re underprivileged anyway, so this–this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them.” I’d be curious what she’d think after after living there for just a week, much less for months on end, before being sent off to somewhere even further from their homes, friends, and relatives. Please note: This woman raised our president. Did the acorn fall far from the tree?


Behind The Curtain….

September 6, 2005

George Bush’s photo-op tour of New Orleans yesterday has apparently driven Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu over the edge. Today she blasted FEMA for its feeble response to Hurricane Katrina and Bush for his phony, stage managed promises of action.