CDC ALERT!

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a virulent new strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior.

The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and is pronounced “gonna re-elect him.”

Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for one’s own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, and categorical all-or-nothing behavior.

This destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.

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